Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Zielchmerz-the exhilarating dread of finally pursuing a lifelong dream which requires you to put your true abilities out there to be tested

procrastination is my forte
i can drag out planning and preparation for an event for days on end
over analyze every little detail even when i know its as good as its going to get
the best it can possibly be
i have the ability to find something that needs redoing before i start
i have an endless list of excuses at my disposal 
and im good at it  i mean REALLY good
because secretly im terrified to begin
the inevitability of commencing looms over my head like a dark cloud
i know i can only delay it for so long
a myriad of failure painted pictures scrolls through my mind
and echoes in my eardrums
the amplified sound of my own heartbeat
my face turns a deep scarlet 
as my voice raises a few octaves and begins to quiver
my hands start to shake 
and then
then i try something new
step outside of my comfort zone
and i am better for it






3 comments:

  1. I'm a procrastinator too... But, not quite as beautiful as yours. I'm just lazy. ;0)

    Hugs!

    Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi

    ReplyDelete
  2. This. Definitely this.
    You wonder why I'm not published.......

    ReplyDelete