Thursday, October 31, 2013


so I signed up for nano this year.
that is national novel writing month in which one makes an attempt to write a complete a novel in 30 days..
what the hell?!
50,000 words?!
yep that's the minimum word count.
what the hell?!
12am nov 1 st- 1159pm nov 30?!
30 days down to the minute.
what the hell?!
im a sprinter not a long distance runner 
i mean a short story okay i can probably swing that...but a novel? 
what the hell?!
what the hell?!
i can't comitt to anything.
part of my libra nature.
 i posess an almost infantile
refusal to take a side or take stand...
the latter may speak more to my cowardice than my commitment.
did i grow out of getting angry enough to fight? at what point did my fists stop flying into action?
i think I must have been born with an abnormally small backbone or an over developed sense apathy.
(perhaps with an apettite for punishment as well?)
ive got a long history of
half hearted attempts 
last minute cancelations 
false starts 
and giving up...
all costly habits that need to be broken
will writing a novel help me be more decisive? committed? less cowardly?!
i have no idea.
but after 30 days and 50,000 words
maybe ill have an inkling?
may be.