Friday, April 11, 2014

Janus pays a visit

the choice for "j" was easy today
i woke up with the name Janus on my lips


not because i'd spent the night looking for a "j"
but because i was thinking of everything going on in my life right now, nothing life altering really
just your generic distractions like shifts in location, work structure, family dynamics, habits, etc.
a to z has truthfully just scribbled in somewhere in the margins this go around.

Janus is of course from Roman mythology
he is the god of beginnings, transitions, gates, doors,
passages, endings and time.
he is usually depicted as having two faces.
not because he is thought to be deceitful
but because he looks to the future and to the past.


i myself remain preoccupied with the past and present.
my thoughts of the future as of late, are limited to how the past and present might affect it.
planning is not something i've ever excelled at.
things like leases ending, have a habit of sneaking up on me.

i suppose i always thought that there were just a few preset turning points in our lives.
milestones.
times of change.

it never occurred to me that life would go off script
write in it's own points.
that they would catch me when i least expected it.

im not fond of change.
it stresses me out.
i get horrid persistent knots in my stomach.
and down right stubborn.
stagnant water or not.
but i suppose i've tired of the stench
and find my life evolving and changing
well perhaps its not so much my life, but me that is changing.

i feel different.
im not sure how exactly.
i don't know if its good, bad or neutral.
i just know that im aware of it.





8 comments:

  1. This line caught my eye:

    "it never occurred to me that life would go off script
    write in it's own points.
    that they would catch me when i least expected it." Yes!

    Aloha, Maui Jungalow

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  2. Did you know that Native Americans see the future behind them and the past in front of them? Makes sense.

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    Replies
    1. i did not know that but i love it.

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  3. What I find fascinating about the 2 faces of Janus is that we have to choose which one we use more - looking ahead to the future or behind us at the past.

    TaMara
    AJ's AtoZ wHooligan
    Tales of a Pee Dee Mama

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  4. I'm an A to Z minion/helper sauntering through the 'net and checking blogs. Happy blogging!

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  5. I see Janus as balance, perspective. A point came in my life that I made me change my perspective, which in turn balanced a lot of the chaos going on. Even though the past is what brought us here, and we all have a past, I had to get to the perspective of "it is what it is". I'm not one that's a maker of big future plans, but getting this perspective helped me find my center more. Great post. I'll be looking into Janus again. :D

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  6. GREAT POST! Yesterday is History , Tomorrow a Mystery and today A gift that is why we call it a present(I think it is from Eleanor Roosevelt !Brilliant post loved it and hope life gets less stressful #AtoZchallenge ☮Peace ☮ ღ ONE ℒℴνℯ ღ ☼ Light ☼ visiting from http://4covert2overt.blogspot.com/

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  7. Good writing. Glad I found this blog, but I'm wondering about k-r. the most recent post I see is on letter J. Hope all is well with you. I am a fellow A to Z'er, and your newest follower.
    Deb@ http://debioneille.blogspot.com

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