have you always wanted to become an internet blogging sensation and get noticed by a publisher and land a book deal? want to share your experiences with the world in hopes that you inspire someone else to do great things? are you a professional writer, actor, or artist hoping to gain a larger fan base to promote your latest, novel, movie, or project? if so you are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo reading the wrong blog.
now if you're bored, looking to kill time, or just like write stuff every now and then but not really, like at all.
then this might be the blog for you
following these 22 easy steps you too, can not write a blog!
step one: create a blog
step two: be very sporadic with your posts jumping from topic to topic on a whim
step three: really buckle down and commit to a theme
step four: throw theme out the window and write nonsensical gibberish
step five: don't post anything for months on end
step six: write a singular post portraying your intent on becoming a more focused and organized individual.
step seven: write a post denouncing the world of writing.
step eight: join a crossfit gym and go everyday. so that the obsession occupies your brain, drink the kool-aid, join the cult, its a good one. you must also spend endless hours facebooking about it because everyone knows:
step nine: get a job that has almost nothing to do with computers where you still get elected as IT guru and spend your days fixing everyone's glitches, viruses, and crashes. so that by the end of the day the last thing you want to do is look at a computer.
step ten: squeeze in a few random posts here and there anyway.
step eleven: actually write a real one.
step twelve: skip step eleven
step thirteen: there is no step thirteen, bad juju.
step fourteen: let's do the time warp again!
step fifteen: it's just a jump to the left
step sixteen: then a step to the right.
step seventeen: put your hands on your hips
step eighteen: with your knees in tight
step nineteen: but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives them insane
step twenty: try to get that out of your head
step twenty-one: stop reading this crap and get back to a to z!
step twenty-two: yeah skip twenty-one too.