sometimes i feel just like a gerbil running around and around on his wheel!
am i accomplishing anything with my life???!!!
im moving yes, but lets be honest im not going anywhere.
im becoming more like the mindless gerbil. blind or numb to the world beyond my day to day.
the music is almost deafening and then i spot it. shinning in the sunlight this vibrant perfect carousel
.there were all the animals you could ever imagine it was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen in my entire life. why it was there never crossed my mind. i just knew i wanted to ride it. no not wanted. needed. i felt like i was ten again weightless and carefree i took off running full speed straight to it! then without a hint of warning a gentleman appeared in my path calling me to a halt. i call him a gentleman because of his attire his demeanor was less than gentlemen like he was dressed in a very formal tuxedo complete with tailcoats and spats he looked as though he'd just walked out of a painting of some party in the 1920s and appeared somewhat annoyed. his sudden appearance startled me but he didnt appear to be surprised to see me. i managed to stutter out something that might have resembled "youwhoare?" he sighed heavily rolled his eyes and said"turn around and leave." i gave him a confused look he repeated himself louder and more forcefully. i looked at him and then the beautiful carousel.the overwhelming need to ride it spiked up again before i could take open my mouth to speak he sighed heavily again muttered something inaudible under his breath and gave me what must have been the most redundant line of his life his tone was impatient and dry" i am the operator. you may ride the carousel.if you must but be warned once you get on you can never get off. the ride stops for no one. no matter how much you beg and plead, the ride will not stop until its time." he disappeared almost as soon as the words left his lips. where'd he go? who was he? and why was he so insistent on me leaving? i caught a glimpse of my reflection in the carousel and stared at it until it didnt look real anymore i wasnt staring at myself i was staring into nothing my thoughts drifting. i dont have any of the answers. i didnt before i got here. i may never have them. and this carousel is so lovely... i have to ride it! i dont care about that stupid operator! i ran towards it again and no one stopped me. i got on chose a beautiful white stallion with golden hair and the ride began. i felt the purest of joys spreading throughout my whole being! from my horse i could see all the animals more clearly some of them appeared to be wearing clothing there was a cat with a straw hat and sundress, a monkey in cut off blue jeans and a red striped tank top and i noticed a penguin wearing spats that i hadn't seen earlier it gave me a smug grin and mouthed
"i told you so."