how-to-not-write-a-blog-blog

have you always wanted to become an internet blogging sensation and get noticed by a publisher and land a book deal? want to share your experiences with the world in hopes that you inspire someone else to do great things? are you a professional writer, actor, or artist hoping to gain a larger fan base to promote your latest, novel, movie, or project? if so you are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo reading the wrong blog.

now if you're bored, looking to kill time, or just like write stuff every now and then but not really, like at all.
then this might be the blog for you

following these 22 easy steps you too, can not write a blog!
step one: create a blog

step two: be very sporadic with your posts jumping from topic to topic on a whim

step three: really buckle down and commit to a theme

step four: throw theme out the window and write nonsensical gibberish

step five: don't post anything for months on end

step six: write a singular post portraying your intent on becoming a more focused and organized individual.

step seven: write a post denouncing the world of writing.

step eight: join a crossfit gym and go everyday. so that the obsession occupies your brain, drink the kool-aid, join the cult, its a good one. you must also spend endless hours facebooking about it because everyone knows:

step nine: get a job that has almost nothing to do with computers where you still get elected as IT guru and spend your days fixing everyone's glitches, viruses, and crashes. so that by the end of the day the last thing you want to do is look at a computer.

step ten: squeeze in a few random posts here and there anyway.

step eleven: actually write a real one.

step twelve: skip step eleven

step thirteen: there is no step thirteen, bad juju.

step fourteen: let's do the time warp again!

step fifteen: it's just a jump to the left

step sixteen: then a step to the right.

step seventeen: put your hands on your hips

step eighteen: with your knees in tight

step nineteen: but it's the pelvic thrust that really  drives them insane

step twenty: try to get that out of your head

step twenty-one: stop reading this crap and get back to a to z!

step twenty-two: yeah skip twenty-one too.