you forgot to put the cap back on your pen

dear mary elizabeth, it has been harder than you can imagine not to speak up until now. in the recent months i've come to know you so very well. i dont think it was by mere chance that we should meet on the day of your birthday. i am so thankful for the home that you have given me. forgive me if i sound too forward, but i must say that the hours i've spent lying on your soft bed and plush pillows have been some of the most peaceful moments of my life. and your hand upon my back provides me with immeasurable comfort. i adore the sound of your laughter and lament the sounds of your sorrow. which is precisely why i've delayed what i must say. but i know i can not do so any longer. there comes a time in everyones life in which they are in need of some tough love. my lovely mary elizabeth that time has come for you. willingly i have lent an ear or a shoulder as you require. i have listened to you pour out your heart and soul day in and day out. said nothing as you drench my front with your crocodile tears. yes,crocodile,my dear. though the world feels entirely tragic and dark to you. it simply does not live up to the drama you portray. this mysterious "one-particular-boy", that i have heard more than i care to about, is not mysterious. you have known him practically you're entire life. here's a little newsflash for you. if you list off his favorite musicians as lady gaga, elton john and barbra streisand, he is not"an old soul with a taste for the future." he's gay, honey. i dont know why you catholic school girls have such a hard time coming to terms with these sorts of things. i mean this should've been more than obvious to you when he came over after school one day in the eighth grade and you guys played dress up and he painted your nails. those were far too flawless for any straight man. i mean come on! the guy owns more lipgloss than you! he's a little more than "artistic." so no, i do not think that "such a well dressed man" would be interested in taking you to the upcoming dance! and you might as well uncross those fingers, that kiss is never gonna happen! so stop dieting for him. or dieting at all really. you're ridiculously obsessive. its unhealthy. i mean look in the mirror some time your bones are practicly sticking out of your skin. sweetheart im concerned. im beginning to think that we may need to find you some professional help. finding a guy and falling madly in love is not the most important thing in life. it actually ranks fairly high up on the list of stupid things people have done in the history of ever. it makes people act a damn fool. love will find you when youre least expecting it. dont build your life around any one person. build your life and perhaps you will find a neighbor to build a new life with. i really wish you could just patch things up you're ex-best friend mary catherine. by the way that term is so juvenile i dont care how sophisticated you think you are. you guys were so good for eachother i think you understood how the other one felt without having to say it out loud, and you've got to admit you used to have so much fun. remember last summer down at the lake you guys practically lived there. im sure you guys could just laugh about all this. im sure she's forgotten all about that embarrassing incident with the water balloons and her bra. i mean it was just a childish prank. in front of her entire family and thirty or so of your peers... okay no. brutal honestly mary elizabeth. tough love. it was a total dick move on your part. you were a complete and total ass. you need to apologize. and it probably wouldnt hurt if you somehow manage to publicly embarrass yourself in the process. i dont have anything specific in mind but you should give it some thought. whatever it is its gotta be epic. sure you'll have to live with a few years of ridicule and she may or may not forgive you but that doesnt mean you shouldnt try. you guys were friends once. best friends. and thats got to count for something. look im not gonna lie to you. high school is a pretty rough place. its awkward and scary, youre probably always gonna cringe when you think about it, but its not the entire world. its such a small part of it. its a place for you to scrape your knees, scar your psyche and try to learn something along the way. dont get sucked down in its depths. find a rock to cling to and keep swimming. remember that you are young, enjoy being a kid and embrace the infinite future waiting for you. love always, your dear diary. ps. i broke like all the rules in the universe to write you this message and it may very well be the last thing i ever do. so you sure as hell better listen.