Yellow book jackets- a cowardly buzzing insect that lurks in bookstores and libraries.

Running away has been something I've done since I was a little kid.

I think only pulled the melodramatic  "I'm running away from home" stunt once and  didn't make it out of the backyard...

But I don't like to face the world at large or any conflicts or failures..

I run away from success, challenges, the people I love...

I'm a coward.

Yellow through and through.

Most of the time I run away into my head.

But when the echoes of the sound of my feet starts to make me feel ill at ease 

I've found running away into a story gets me through.

Other people's stories.

Listening to someone else talk about their life.

A good movie or tv show.

Podcasts are a fun one. Especially as of late there's a growing revival of what I call radio theater. With podcasts like The Messenger, Night Vale and Limetown. They bring to mind Orson Wells' 1938 broadcast--

I should digress before I wind up off on a wild tangent.

The best story to run away to of course, is the written word. 

In Stephen King's book On Writing he says (and I'm paraphrasing ) "the written word is uniquely portable magic. "

And that magic engulfs me whole.

No matter where I am or what is going on       

once I sit down with an open book I am gone.

Blissfully enmeshed with someone else's thoughts and feelings and world.

Returning is never easy but the knowledge that I can run back to it at any moment helps.

In recent years for one reason or another I've deprived myself of that escape. Not entirely. I've taken little jaunts here and there reads few scattered books but I've not truly ran away in quite a while.

I got off from work early January 1st felt restless with nothing to do so I opened up a box of books still sealed shut from my latest move and  spotted Columbine which had been in my "to be read pile" for ages and it gripped me. 

It wasn't the greatest story ever told, it probably wouldnt make my top twenty list of favorites. 

But i found myself transfixed. Certainly worth a read. 

I was clearing away the brush and I could feel the gravitational pull of the rabbit hole.

I finished reading it last night and it occurred to me that I should really get through some more of that pile.

Books are heavy to carry upstairs.

I'm a packrat I need to let go of some things.

I've got a lot of books in that pile.

Considering it took me 4 days to read Columbine I thought I might make the lofty goal of reading one book a week this year. 52 books.

Considering I'm a procrastinator I shaved that goal down to 50. 

I thought  about maybe sliming it down further or making a non specific goal of "reading more." 

But I think having a higher number would be more satisfying to reach. I'm employing this blog post and the Good Reads app to hold me accountable. 

Going to try to update once a month.

Started book number two on my lunch break: The Patron Saint of Liars.

Wish me luck!

A thought on zits.

first blog post in over a year (2015 has been unkind) and I pick zits as the topic? are you sure you wanna read it? 

okay I won't stop you...

recently there has been a video in circulation on the web of a man who's face is riddled with white and black heads and someone I assume a medical professional of some sorts uses a sort of medical instrument to essentially pop these zits. the rampant reposting to social media is a dare of sorts "omg look at this dudes face! bet you won't be able to watch it all!" the date of course works and the video is watched and passed around again and again. upon hearing some coworkers talk about the video i set out to locate it and not only did I find it but i found a plethora of pimple/cyst/boil etc popping videos...and i got zapped in. the particulars fascinating aspect of these videos to me were the ones that were instances where someone had the misfortune in having one embedded for years. one lady had one embedded for over a decade it was the size of a dime and took quite a bit of manipulation from a few people to be removed. one of her excavators compared it's consistency to a tree truck alluding to how adeeply rooted it was. another one commented that once she was free of this blockage that she was going to be able to think so much more clearly. 

i was fortunate enough during my teen years that I never had more than the occasional zit. i do have a bad habit of putting my hands on my face and even now from time to time instill manage to work myself into a red dot or two. but acne has never been a huge point of stress for me. I understand  that, that is not something that would hold true for everyone but this isn't there thought on zits...

Ive had an odd facination with them for forever. Especially popping them. My own and those of my significant others... I do it out of love. This little k-hole of videos I found myself in was reassuring in a way to know I wasn't the only one fascinated.

And the thought bubble formed itself why is that?

my postulation is that it is they're kind of enigmatic.  

being under pressure is something that we can all relate with. zits are pressure points. things that cause us stress. Or the physical manisfestation of the mental stress we feel. and popping them is an act of releasing that pressure. It's never easy and sometimes it's gonna hurt it may even bleed a bit but there's something about the knowledge that the pressure is gone that gives us peace.

even if it's the smallest sliver of peace we still chase  it and watching them being popped is like collecting all the tiny slivers  to complete our piece of peace.

cheesy.

better than nose cheese...

bad joke. 

forgive me my blogging is rusty...

officially adding a-z drop out to my resume.

in honor of this blogs demise
heres a list of other famous a-z drop outs:

e.e. cummings

edgar alan poe

john steinbeck

ann patchett

robert ludlum

george r. r. martain

mitch albom

garth nix

michelle obama

kathy griffin

amy chua

steve martin

and last but not least...

the late great irreplaceable comedic legend tina fey

 though she is gone
her whispers float through the
earth like soggy cornflakes in my
cereal milk.
she will be missed.





tina fey is not dead. she is immortal.  the proceeding blog was full of complete and utter bullshit
thanks for reading anyway! cheers to you if you actually finished a-z like a champ!

rejected ideas for today's blog entry

who wrote the book of love?
the monotones.
(because it was stuck in my head okay!)

what color was your poop today?
light tannish brown if you must know.                         (r is for really gross)                        

when was toast invented?
somewhere between 100 and 30,000 years ago
(really craving tea and toast)

why are fire extinguishers red?
not all of them are.

how do i always get suckered into buying popcorn when i go to target?
because the color red makes you hungry and they're mental programming you to buy.
(r is for red duh)

5 quintessential skills for completing a-z in 2014 aka belated letter Q

1. organization, the most vital of all life skills. keep all of your organs alphabetized in tidy labeled containers. 
2. time management. even the most talented hours and seconds need proper representation if they're ever gonna get somewhere.
3. master the art of bullshit.  bs is a must have item for any creative types arsenal. did Michelangelo know what he was doing when Pope Julius II commissioned him to paint the Sistine chapel? not a chance. the old adage "fake it till you make it"? yeah, someone knew what they were talking about.

don't worry about the last two. they aren't really all that important.

K,L,M,N,O,P...

like the letters sung by a toddler  "k-elemeno-p"
or as my nephew would say "k, the old minnow pees"
those letters seem to have gotten away from me.

Janus pays a visit

the choice for "j" was easy today
i woke up with the name Janus on my lips

not because i'd spent the night looking for a "j"
but because i was thinking of everything going on in my life right now, nothing life altering really
just your generic distractions like shifts in location, work structure, family dynamics, habits, etc.
a to z has truthfully just scribbled in somewhere in the margins this go around.

Janus is of course from Roman mythology
he is the god of beginnings, transitions, gates, doors,
passages, endings and time.
he is usually depicted as having two faces.
not because he is thought to be deceitful
but because he looks to the future and to the past.


i myself remain preoccupied with the past and present.
my thoughts of the future as of late, are limited to how the past and present might affect it.
planning is not something i've ever excelled at.
things like leases ending, have a habit of sneaking up on me.

i suppose i always thought that there were just a few preset turning points in our lives.
milestones.
times of change.

it never occurred to me that life would go off script
write in it's own points.
that they would catch me when i least expected it.

im not fond of change.
it stresses me out.
i get horrid persistent knots in my stomach.
and down right stubborn.
stagnant water or not.
but i suppose i've tired of the stench
and find my life evolving and changing
well perhaps its not so much my life, but me that is changing.

i feel different.
im not sure how exactly.
i don't know if its good, bad or neutral.
i just know that im aware of it.